Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of
your kleenex to other passengers.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your
forehead and muttering: " Shut up, dammit, all of
you just shut UP!"
- Whistle the first seven notes of " It's a
Small World" incessantly.
- Sell Girl Scout cookies.
- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural
frequency of the elevator.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain
to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when
they open by themselves.
- Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "
Noogie patrol coming!"
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a
warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- One word: Flatulence!
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and
demand that it stay open until you hear the penny
you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the
- Do Tai Chi exercises.
- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a
while, and then announce: "I've got new socks
- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan
from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion
- Give religious tracts to each passenger.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a
quarter in your nose.
- Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go", then
sigh and say "Oops!"
- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it
- Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" while
continually pushing buttons.
- Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator
- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce: "You're one of THEM", and move to the
far corner of the elevator.
- Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push
the button for them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other
passengers "through" it.
- Start a sing-along.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and
ask "Is that your beeper?"
- Play the harmonica.
- Shadow box.
- Say "Ding" at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push
the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
and announce to the other passengers that this is
your "personal space."
- Bring a chair along.
- Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
- Blow spit bubbles.
- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long
- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a
more suitable host body."
- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a
- Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at
- Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's
- If anyone brushes against you, recoil and
holler: "Bad touch!"